13
Aug
11

EvE – Deer oh dear.

LAST DRAFTS FOR EVE ONLINE 4/4.

I have a secret project and that secret project involves ISK making but for now that secret project is boring as fuck so I won’t go into it, also, it’s a secret.

Though something happened to me on my secret project that made me smile a little, wonder a little more, then start writing this here blog post. I’m writing like a spastic again…ok from the start.
As many of my blog ideas come from the moments where I’m not thinking at all I was suprised to find that the journey home from work pulled through for me as it does when I least expect it. I saw 2 deer grazing in the tree line beside the road, perfect brown, perfect shiny coats and it looked quite nice to be a deer…until you rememebr they are crawling with fucking ticks. So these 2 deer who were just grazing, eating grass, chilling out in the evening sun and being all deer about the world and for some bizarre reason EvE crept into my mind and this idea came about.

Miners are deer. If you mine, if you have mined if you have every been involved in mining at any level you have at one time been a deer*. What type of deer you are depends on how you behave as a miner.

Miner 1 – Mines alone. This type of miner gets to the belt and keeps his scanner up, has a good idea of the local outlaw types in nearby low sec. The scanner is being constantly spammed on a short range for any ship that is not a mining type. He is aligned at all times and his drones are in his drone bay.

Miner 2 – Mines in a group. As part of a larger group your chances of being the one that gets killed is 1 of X where X is the number of ships in your group. This gives him an advantage in that everyone is aware of their surroundings but not necessarily as alert as Miner 1. Somebody is usually the more vigil of the group though, so you tend to rely on that guy for early warnings when possible.

Miner 3 – Mines alone and as part of a group depends on who is around. Tends to just mine whenever without any real care. Doesn’t check scan, doesn’t keep tabs on local, doesn’t realy pay attention to chat. Sometimes rats nearly kill him. Is always suprised when being exploded into bits. Never learns.

Every type of Miner there has the chance of being exploded into bits at any given moment by a space bastard. It doesn’t matter how observant you are, it’s gonna happen in that moment you turned around to talk to your partner, or when you quickly run off for a pee. In that moment you’re going to lose your mining ship. You and I both know it but let’s get back to deer.

Different deer behave differently also. I’m no deer expert, I have no I-DEER about deer really but I imagine that deer behave like this.

Deer 1 – Lives in Africa with hundreds of his bro’s in the plains. Grazing, eating the yellow grass until he’s out of it with mad stomach ache. Surviving attacks is tricky with no cover but in greater numbers they have more scouts and more ears/eyes to look for lions and other deadly cat bastards. And it’s always the weakest and slowest that get eaten anyway. Losers.

Deer 2 – Lives in the hills and mountains of Scandinavia where it’s cold as a Pandemic Legion welcome. He hangs out with a few deer, a group of like 20 or so but they are all pro’s at surviving attacks from feral beasts. They form a circle around the weaker smaller deer, while the coolest recon deer watch and listen for shit coming down. Sometimes one of their number fall, but it’s ALWAYS because of bad luck and because shit happens, but they roll with it. Like pro’s.

Deer 3 – Lives in rural areas where people frequent in some form. Is the deer that hangs out with 1 other deer. Chilling somewhere pretty quiet, easy mode. Cruise control deer life and not really caring about being eaten because no wolf lives on this street, only a few household dogs and they can’t outrun the lazy deer anyway. They’ve heard of predators attacking deer, but it’s local jibber jabber. And damn this tick infestation!

So wolves, Lions, Leopards, Dragons, Tribesmen, idiots with guns, Tribesmen and anything else that kills deer are the ganking space bastards. I think everything is now clear here yes? It better be, because this deer analogy is becoming thin.

Basically miners –> Deer.

The dig was going well, until Kevin called in sick AGAIN and everyone else had to pick up the slack.

*Deer is a weird looking word the more you type it. Deer deer deer deer deer. It looks fucking weird.

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