14
Jun
11

EvE – Fabulous/Fantastic/Babylon/Johnny 5/five

Being at work and having spare time to think about other things is a luxury that happens every so often, no stress, no running around like a headless chicken, no being angry or being a prick. It’s great when that happens. And then EvE creeps into my mind, as if I don’t allready spend much of my time playing/writing/thinking about it while I’m not at work which leads to the peace vanishing leaving behind stress and anxiety about what I should write about next.

It’s a vicious circle.

In a way though it’s very Minmatar inspired. Just a few ideas bolted together in the hope that it flies. Occasionally these ideas will be fit enough to undock, while other times it just sits there making whoever created it sigh with dissapointment. And so during one of these times I picked up a pen and took the first thought that came into my head and put it to paper. What would be the coolest 5 man gang?

From just thinking that simple question my brain glues other things to it, and then more things and a bit more until a simple idea forms up from the scrawl on the paper in front of me. I think, what would be the perfect 5 man gang if conditions were perfect? By perfect you can include any ship available, ideal opponent, time of day, system and anything else you want in this little idea. Almost like a scripted event in a game, except that you have created it instead of some developer.

Due to this perfect scenario you have created, you can now make outrageously inaccurate or wildly unplausable setups as to seem unrealistic to the point of being dumb. I thought of a few serious scenarios at first and as the realistic results and the facts didn’t matter so much, the “what if…” factor took over and made this a bit more fun. I’m sure everyone has done something similar whether you’d like to admit it or not unless you are just incapable of doing something like this, in which case, how boring your Spock like ways must seem.

Spock explains it all with an easy to follow corporate jargon style hand gesture.

Spock is sadly correct though. Despite how many gang setups you could come up with that make no sense and have no point because there will always be something wrong with the plan that will get pointed out and make you feel a bit silly. One incredibly obvious reason against this would be that no 5 man can not stop a bigger blob from killing it. And while this and many other “yes but…” reasons are valid, it doesn’t make the point of this any less ‘fun’ to do. And with that final justification out of the way I want to put down my three perfect 5 man gangs. Just for fun.

The lazy yet mobile 5 man gate camp.

For this you will need 1 x fast tackle such as a Dramiel or a Taranis, 1 x Huginn, 1 x Rook, 2 x Zealot.

– Your chosen gate would be in 0.0 that has traffic every now and again but not too much as to be extremely dangerous for your gang. You want to gank solo ships/small gangs from any wandering militias, local mission runners and ratters, hauling ships, scouts and any smaller gangs that don’t belong to some hugely successful group. Try to avoid solo battleships but give them a go If you can break their tank before they get back to the gate and leave, then great!

– The gang is able to move away from the gate in a relativly speedy fashion if something on the other side appears with a large blob or with ships you can not handle. To make matters safer, the ships are not on the gate anyway but being agile is a plus.

– The fast tackle should be able to give chase and destroy any other fast running ship. Which is why a Dramiel is preffered or at best, a good inty killing inty. It should also be pretty fast at pointing targets that may only appear for a short second before warping off or cloaking. It should also be fast to at least attempt the decloaking of transports or recons etc.

– The Huginn is clearly there to web so ships can not get back to the gate so quickly. A back up disruptor incase the fast tackle has problems is a good idea.

– The Rook will be the ‘get out of jail free card’ incase things do go wrong because ECM is great at that. It also has pretty nice damage which is why a Rook, over a Falcon.

– Zealots have great damage output, they are just beasts. Zealots over anything else, because Zealots are also pretty nippy and we don’t want to lose any ship in this camp.

To my noob mind I would say that’s a pretty nice gang as you can’t move, you can’t target and your tank is melting pretty quickly. If I was a Drake or a Rupture and jumped into that, I would be leaving space poopies in my space capsule.

The heavy-set gang of over eaters that like to wander a bit.

For this you will need 1 x Huginn, 1 x Onyx, 3 x Drakes!

– I think this gang would like to move around a few systems and not hang around one spot for too long. Being fat and overweight means they can get caught pretty easily by bigger groups if they get pinned down.

– Ideally, smaller ships are probably not going to get caught, instead larger things like battleships would be viable, or other battlecruisers.

– The Huginn needs quite a large shield tank to at least try and keep up with the other 4 ships in the gang tank wise. Dual webs of course because we don’t want your heavy prey creeping back to the gate so fast. A Target painter would also be nice as every ship in the gang is using missiles.

– The Onyx has a great shield tank and it has the bubble warp disrupter for 0.0 and it also has the foccused warp disruption if you are in low sec. It’s lock time can be pretty good with dual sensor boosters so catching cruisers and perhaps plated destroyers or frigates would also be plausible.

– The 3 Drakes would be HAM drakes. Bacon is best afterall and HAM’s do lot’s of damage. The tank on a Drake is very large so it could be a passive fit if fitting the HAM launchers was an issue.

– Now with all but the Onyx, we have drone bays. Would shield drones be a good idea for a little logistic aid? 15 light Shield maintenance drones on the Drakes, 2 mediums and 3 lights from the Huginn. With Repair Drone Operation V and T2 drones you get 18 shields from each light drone, and 36 from the Mediums giving you a total of 396 shields repaired every 5 seconds ! Ok well perhaps that’s not such a significant help nor a great idea.

Sneaky space bastard group of “Oh for fucks sake”.

For this final recipe you will need 1 x Rapier 1 x Falcon 1 x Arazu 2 x Stealth Bomber

– Like ninjas or assassins, you would stalk your prey out, follow him around null sec and when he goes to rat, the Arazu meets him at a belt, points, damps on him, while the rest of your boys get into system and ruin him.

Or

– If in a busy system, you could just hang around a gate with a stealth bomber on the other side and pick off wandering targets from your ideal optimals.

Or

– Roam around Low sec looking for pirates, or turn pirate (just perhaps not on gates) and kill low sec ratters/missioners.

– I think ideally you want to go for ratting ships in asteroid belts, pirate ships or war targets on gates. Gank 1 or 2 at a time, any more and you won’t be able to lock them down and destroy them as effciently.

– Everything cloaks, warps cloaked and can hide with no trouble at all.

– Fit an expanded probe launcher to the Falcon and look for low sec missioners.

–  They won’t be able to lock, move very fast, use their MWD’s, they will be target painted and covered in drones.

– The only real damage comes from the Stealthbombers, but with target painters the prey could even be cruiser sized and taken out pretty quickly. Allowing you to melt back into the shadows.

I think that’s my dream gang right there. Sneaky backstabbing fuckfaces.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Ideal situations, and the best case scenario don’t really happen in EvE online which is a good thing really because smarter players or rather more devious players out there would come up with some really twisted shit that would be nigh on impossible to defend against. This is why it’s only fun to think about what you could do given an ideal situation, rather than actually try it out. There are too many variables and possibilities for EvE that planning the ideal gang on a small scale like this would be quite impossible.

Some small gangs go out in interceptors or HACs and try to do what they can with their limited firepower but greater maneuverability just incase they get blobbed. This always gives them the GTFO option while their ship choice gives them a meassure of leathality. I’m not so sure that specialised ships in a small gang that is built up around each other would work so well. A large gang can afford to do special tricks and have tools available because the numbers are there to support any possible losses, or simply that enough of a number means ships won’t explode when faced against a weaker lesser foe. YEY IT’S TIME FOR THE COOL METAPHOR!!!

Scaffolding is the temporary structure that builders use to move around the outside of something they are working on. It will support itself and at times, the structure, by a well built frame that links together and spreads out weight across itself. If you remove a pole or 2 from this, it doesn’t work or is deemed too unsafe to work on. So everything in the scaffolding structure must be secure and actually present in order to work. I think that’s what I am trying to say about a small gang like these 3 examples here.

Though it was fun to think of possibile gang setups in an ideal game….that we don’t yet have.

Oh and I made this as a last resort incase you take my thinking here too seriously.  I don’t think I need it, just seemed a waste not to use it.

OOOOH HE'S GOING TO EAT YOUR BLOG! RUN!

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