06
Jun
11

EvE – Feeling under skilled?

If anything is going to make you feel insecure about EvE online, it’s that your skills are not as big as the other people in the locker room. You feel under equipped and you feel like a lesser person. Feelings of shame, guilt and hopelessness surround your every thought and good intentions. Some people tell you it’s allright and not to worry as it happens to everyone, you accept that but know that they are just being nice. You just want to join in with the group activity, you want to belong to this group and show them you have what it takes. You don’t want to be on the outside looking in.

Sound familiar?*

Feeling inadequate might be acceptable in real life but not in EvE online. Being inadequate might not be a game breaker for your loving partner, the one person who loves you for who you are and the one person that can look past the parts of you that don’t perform.

Through mutal respect, conversation and honesty you can both work through your short comings.

However in EvE online, your inadequacies are going to be amplified to 11, stomped on, pissed on and then forced past your Larynx, down your trachea, left to fester in your lungs where one day they will expand suffocating you shortly before your lungs explode out through your chest covering everything and everyone within 20 feet with a poisonous chemical compound…the zombie apocolypse is YOUR FAULT because you didn’t do your skill training correctly you fucking retard!

Let’s help explain this post with some good examples explained as if from a corp member that knows everything about the game, has trained everything in the game, and has done everything in the whole entire game. We all have at least 1 of those wankers in every corp in EvE. Are you that person? Let’s assume it’s not 🙂 (<— that smiley represents the last nice moment of this post, the rest is just anger and hatred, you have been warned.)

7 Days 11Hrs 35mins 55Sec until you can actually be regarded as usefull. No Zealot, no Gaurdian, no hope what so ever.

You don’t have all 4 cruisers trained to V? What the fuck have you been training? First of all it’s nice that you can fly all Minmatar cruisers but we are running an armour tanked fleet and so we need you in a Gaurdian…but you can’t fly a Gaurdian, so you fail at life. Take a Lachesis or a Falcon for bait then, because that’s what we do with worms like you!

Signs of carebearing, Cruise missiles V...oh dear oh dear.

Torpedos and Heavy missiles are the only usefull missiles in the game. If you didn’t know that, you don’t deserve your account. Torpedos when we use stealthbombers, torpedos when we siege towers with dreads up close and personal like a boss. The cruise missile stealth bomber is long gone, you should have known that would happen. And we never use the Raven on op’s so fuck yo’cruise missiles.

CORRECT. FAIL. FAIL. Followed by "trained it to level 3? are you taking the piss?"

Didn’t you know that tonights op was with Abbadons? and you are going to fit that large artillery to the Abbadon are you? How about you train some real weapons for a change hmm? Maybe then you will fit in and start making some friends instead of making more people hate your grandparents for producing your parents who then produced a waste of skin and bone like you. Also not training TWR to at least IV just means you are a burden on the alliance coffers who supply you with that extra siege fuel you consume like some fat fucking useless….spongey twat.

Has the possibility of flying the Vargur and Golem, Chimera and Nidhoggur, Phoenix and Naglfar, Widow and Panther, Wyvern and Hel BUT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE AMARR BATTLESHIPS TRAINED TO IV YET?!?! WTF?!?!

I guess you won’t be flying that Abaddon after all, and you won’t be flying Gaurdian so what will you be flying? Light tackle then? or perhaps a Hictor? Can you fly anything? Can you fit salvagers? can you probe? CAN YOU DO ANYHTING CORRECT AT ALL OR DO YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY ON A SUBSCRIPTION TO A GAME THAT YOU SEEM TO ENJOY FAILING AT?!?!?!?!

Here are some other quick fire skills you SHOULD have trained by now, and why.

Logistics V – Triage module for one but also because having it means you’re on par with every other logistics pilot. Let’s both pray together, to god right now, that your cap skills are not fucking doss.

Jump Drive Calibration V – You NEED this, infact you should have spent your reimbursed skill points on this skill because you NEED it when we do Dreadnought op’s, the most exciting op’s in the game. Level 4 will not suffice.

Propulsion jamming V – So you can use mobile warp disruptors. And also so you can use the Warp Disruption Field Generator on a Heavy Interdictor. When we tackle titans and when we want to bubble on gates, and when we want to do anything that involves stopping the enemy from leaving the field.

Destroyers V – Because you NEED to fly light interdictors from time to time and die, and be a hero.

Every Engineering, Mechanic and Electronic skill that refer to fitting and capacitor to V – If you can use the fitting we have provided, then it’s because your fitting skills suck. If your cap runs dry and the fit is cap stable, then you need to learn to play or buy +5% capacitor implants.

If your character age is 5+ years old – Every single skill in the game should be trained to V and you should be a trillionaire and you should be in the top 100 on Battleclinic for kills.

———————————————————-

Oh the patch went smoothly right? well for a few days I had this problem.

"Does the carpet match the curtains?", "Well virgins like you will never know". - Sexy amazing woman with quick wit to your mongoloid pick up line making you look like an idiot in front of your idiot friends.

Being surrounded by red heads is usually great. Nice looking ones that we have in abundance these days that seem to have walked out from a Loreal commercial, not the ones that were kept under the stairs and beaten regularly. I do however draw the line at having a forced sex change on my main. Even if he did look like my alt here.

*If that didn’t sound familiar then you are one of those “people” that have probably been playing since 2005 at least and have forgotten what it was like to be disabled skill point wise. Also, I hate you.

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1 Response to “EvE – Feeling under skilled?”


  1. 1 Greg
    06/06/2011 at 9:39 pm

    Sweet! Blog post…LuLzz What a bitch!


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