Blood Bowl – Gobbo mashing spree. Day 2.

After a lengthy few days of rummaging through large piles of chaos body waste, the necromancer managed to resurect coach TooNu just in time for the second match of the Aerial cup. He doned his coach cap and coach cape and coach shoes and coach vest and…well everything a coach needs to coach, which includes having your bones being numbered for future loses.


Possibly one of the greatest named teams of all time according to Spike magazine.


Da Spitgob Dribblerz Goblin team won their first game against a Dwarven team (who I am worried about), and won convincingly at that, 5-2. So going into this match I was a little aprehensive as to how that actually happened. Dwarfs are tough and strong, hard to knock down and hard to avoid fighting so how did these tiny weak things manage it? Well as soon as the teams ran onto the field and took their positions I knew exactly how. Secret weapons and TWO Trolls. This was going to be a match full of pain and in the first turn, a Goblin didn’t let my suspicions down.


The Goblin Maniac swings his ball around in a circle until he either A) strangles himself or B) gets sent off. Here you can see him taking apart the ENTIRE centre field.


Allready it looked ominous. The 4 bigger nastier members of the Skull Takers were knocked down, dazed or sent off with concusions. And it got worse. The maniac managed a successfull sprint, meaning he can move one extra square, and slammed himself directly into my best player sending him off with an injury, nothing permanent though so the Apothacary roll was saved for later.


This is still the very first turn and I have lost 5 team members allready.


Though it wasn’t all doom and gloom for the Takers. The rest got stuck in and kicked some Goblin heads in, one moment stood out from the others. The new player Krushzor proving to everyone that he is not some new-boy from the chaos waste.


That, is a Troll going off with a groin strain...Krushzor went right for the daddy button sending the stupid Troll off.


With one Troll down and out for the game that left only a single troll and a few goblins to deal with. Nothing else besides a few knocking downs and failed ball pickups happened in the first half, to say it was uneventfull would be an understatement. Even the commentators were fast to say how much of a snore-fest it was.


Half Time allready? Did anything happen?


Coach TooNu was left a bit puzzled. He was sure that his team did something that half but couldn’t quite see what it was. Sure the Troll taking an unusual injury was quite a suprise but the ball didn’t play any part? and it is still 0-0? Coach TooNu tried to liven the bored players a little with a rousing speech,“Ok listen up you maggot eating puss filled sacks of Ogre puke, go out there, and bring me some Goblin blood for tonight, we dine in Hell-upon Tweed!”.


The second half began with a nice bonus of an extra re-roll. The false gos provide when you least expect it.


Sometimes when controlling a large creature, before each action they must make special rolls that leave them able to do nothing. Not even provide a tacklezone. And that is why this Troll is standing here with a dumb look on his face and half a pint of saliva coming out of his opened mouth.


With one Troll off injured, and this one stood around like an imbecile, now was the time to get some Goblin blood!


Goblins were batted aside like flies with no support to help them. Vastly under powered Gobbos were being brutalised by the larger Chaos players. And with a few perfectly placed Blitz moves the ball was in the hands of a Beastman who powered up the field as far from nearby Goblins as he could. The next turn, he would run it in and the Skull Takers would be 1-0 ahead. An easy Touchdown.


Knock one Goblin down, grab the ball and run. Simple, just how coach TooNu likes it.



An easy TD and the crowd know it, but that's no reason not to celebrate.


The kick was made to the gobbos and the Goblin couch could be heard screaming, “OPERATION HALFWIT IS A GO!!!, coach TooNu couldn’t quite figure out what Operation Halfwit could be but he didn’t have time to wonder for long. A goblin ran with the ball to the only Troll on the field, who picked him up. Coach TooNu recognised instantly what was going to happen and yelled, “GET BACK!! GET BACK!! HE’S GONNA LAUNCH HIM!!”. The Troll jerked his arm right back with the goblin hanging on to the ball, he readied his landing feet and then..


..the troll just let go, the goblin landed on his head and was K.O'd


The ball bounched free behind the centre line and the Troll collected more saliva in his lower jaw of his big stupid open mouth.

As inevitable as Ogres eating children; when Chaos teams are given a Goblin team as an opponent the anticipation of smashing an easy opponent apart is too great. Earning some injury bragging rights or even…death bragging rights is quite the talking point around the blood sacrifice alter. Here are some of the injury highlights of the match, and there were LOADS to choose from.


Many many casualties in this match.


…and back to the ball.


Ram'em Down clears the field of Goblins, Ty-Nogors runs it in



Another walk in with no opposition, is this Blood Bowl?


And with that the match was over, the crowd woke up and the Goblins avoided the trolls appetite once again. The Skull Takers collected the 15 or so barrels of blood from the field and practiced some dark magic we shouldn’t talk about in any great detail but the gods were asked to perform a “blessing” whatever that meant.


Bugmans Brewery sponsors this REALLY EXCITING match.


Well the match might not have been very exciting but it was over and it was a win for the Skull Takers, something they needed after losing to the Arrows in the previous match.


2-0 to the Skull Takers, and lot's of experience in hurting gained.


The “blessing” mentioned earlier manifested itself, it was gruesome and unholy. The blood was poured over the alter and incantations were chanted, lightning struck the alter and eyes appeared!…ok instead what happend was that Ty-nogors convulsed on the floor of the locker room while 3 Chaos warriors held him down. They tell him that the third arm will come in handy when performing card tricks or juggling.


Let's see them Elves get one over ole Ty-Nogors now eh?!


Well…Dwarves next, I think the holiday is over.


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