Blood Bowl – Clean Cup Final.

"Peace towards all" ? or a premature "VICTORY!" ? Elves, arrogant to the last.

And here we are at the very first final for the Skull Takers in their very first tournament of the Clean cup. And their opponents, the Flashing Fens elven team. Let’s reintroduce them (it is the final after all). Both teams are at the extreme side of their abilities, one, an agile group of tree huggers whose dexterity allows for a superb throwing game. And the other, a brutish mob of chaos and destruction whose only goal is to drive the opposition into the pitch face first. Both teams were ready to bring their game and not hold back. The ref blew the whistle and the final was underway!


And then this happened putting the elven team 1-0 ahead. How did this happen so soon? the match just started and we are allready scoring touchdowns? Ok well that is allready a big setback for coach TooNu’s plans but how did we get to this point? Well first it might be prudent to introduce the newest addition to the Skull Takers lineup.

Coach TooNu had been thought to pocketing the winnings for each match like any true chaotic coach would, but it seems that this coach had his teams interests at heart (black and dead as it is). The promises of paying for new slave cheerleaders and for extra “medical” staff (read: necromancers) had been put to the back of a very short list of things to buy. When presented by the false gods, a mighty weapon of destruction that would wreak havoc across the field coach TooNu just couldn’t refuse. And so the Minotaur Ram’em Down was added to the roster of players and let lose amongst the small skinny little Elves.

And this was just the first half.

The Elven players were pretty occupied by avoiding this giant on the field that they couldn’t avoid  running into other sorts of trouble, namely the rest of the Skull Takers.

Another Fen leaves the field with a broken neck after running into a Beastman.

Coach TooNu’s plan of “Ignore the ball just go out there and hurt them!”, had backfired. He hadn’t considered that the Elves would go for the ball while being beaten to a bloody pulp, but they had done just that and were now winning. The initial kick off was delivered to the Skull Takers who had left a lone Beastman in the rear to deal with the ball while the rest dealt with the much faster elves, who slipped by the defensive line, overwhelmed the lone beastman and scored.

Catch failed, pick up failed...just get the damn ball!

So through all the excitment of the new team “toy” and with the temptation to just hurt them over and over the Takers had allready given the advantage to the Fens. Coach TooNu had this to say, “YOU F**KING DUMB SH’TS!!”, and ordered them into a huddle to discuss new tactics.

The kick was made and the Chaos team were ready this time as the ball was picked up and moved up field. Coach TooNu’s new tactics seemed to be working as the Flashing Fens tried a similar stunt to score a second early touchdown, but were denied as one Elf lineman again proves that not all Elven players are successful at avoiding harm.

Not this time you pointy eared little bastard.

The field was again looking like a typical match for the Skull Takers. Bodies littered the ground and blood stained grass was everywhere but the ball was not moving fast enough up the field for Coach TooNu’s liking. It would appear that for all of the fighting and knocking down of elves, the Skull Takers would be 1-0 down for the first half.

The ball really hadn’t moved anywhere beyond the Skull Takers half because the Flashing Fens had also spent a little money on a new player, a Wardancer. If the ball carrier moved to the left, she was there, if the ball carrier ran ahead, she was there to block and take him down. Coach TooNu was frustrated and furious. It’s also worth noting that while many fans of Blood Bowl see females as either Cheer leaders or the women that waits at home, they all recognise that an Elven Wardancer represents something that could kick their arse up and down the stadium and still have energy to play a match afterwards. Something to be scared about.

A Wardancer decides to bring a Chaos Warrior down before he did it to himself anyway.

Coach TooNu startd to sweat a little at having this little warrior women disrupt his plans for winning the league but would have to pray that his players manage somehow.

The second half began and the same things started to happen all over again. Elves would fall down or leave the field in unconciousness (or worse) and the ball while in chaos hands was not moving up the field fast enough, but it was moving up at least. For one player, the frustrations proved to be too much.

Caught on camera, the true spirit of Blood Bowl.

An Elf who “tripped over” a beastmans knee became the target of a mass stomping of Skull Taker players who kicked and stomped on the unlucky tree hugger earning one Beastman a sending off by the brave Goblin Ref. Not many Goblins would have the courage to do that and so we award the Ref a ‘Well Done You!’ T-shirt.

The clock was ticking and only 2 turns remained for the game and the Skull Takers were still 1-0 down. The Beastman with the ball ran as fast as he could up the centre of the field, he had support but could he make it in time? He could do, the distance was exactly 12 spaces ahead of him, he would just need to run and keep running to score. 6 paces up and almost there, and then she showed up. Rushing from a centre field fight the Wardancer heard a cry from her team mate and left the battle to intercept the ball carrier and block him, while unsuccessful she did manage to get in his face and provide a tackle zone for him to run through. If he wanted to score, he would have to go through that tackle zone and if it’s one piece of common knowledge to all Blood Bowl fans, it’s that Beastmen don’t move like an ellegant dancer past opponents…go through them yes, but not around.

Saved by the Be(ll)astman

With one turn remaining it was now or never for the Skull Takers. Ty-Nogors was the beastman of the hour as he hurled horns first into the Wardancer, she was fast enough to grab onto his horns and avoid the damage they might have done had she been unaware, but the force had pushed her back and all she could do was watch as the ball was taken into the endzone for a last turn equalizer.


Coach TooNu removed himself from the pot the team uses to cook a dissapointing coach and ran to the sideline as the crowd went wild, not because of the last turn touchdown but because 2 Ogres decided now was a good time to go for halfling-dogs and forgot the mustard so waded through the crowd for a second time. The game announcer announced that “We must have a winner and so extra time will be allowed..in SUDDEN DEATH!”, and promptly died at his microphone from a case of sudden-death brought on by a plague from the Skull Takers physician.

Speaking of Physicians and medical training…

Ram'em Down's affect on the Flashing Fens was clearly evident.

Coach TooNu’s tactics for the extra time were simple, “We kick the ball to them, you have to go get the ball, and you have to score a point with the ball”. It was a plan so simple that even the Chaos Warriors understood it. the kick was made and the fighting began. The elves were a few players down and so relied on keeping the ball in their back field with their thrower, they tried to run catchers by the chaos line but couldn’t quite find a gap that wasn’t plugged by a Skull Taker. Time was running out for them and their options for their throwing game were running out.

The Chaos line surged forward leaving Ram’em Down and a few others to keep working on the catchers and lineman. The blitz to get the ball had begun.

Not fully covered by his team mates, the Elven thrower could relax knowing he was fully covered by Ouch-U-Lost Blood Bowl insurance, for players who sometimes...have problems.

The thrower was wide open for a chaos warrior assisted Beastman who rammed straight into him knocking the ball into the air and onto the turf.

Now if he can just pick that ball up...

Later in the game, but repeating 2 occurances. Can he redeem himself from the first half’s disastrous early touchdown? can he win it in the very last turn of extra time? Can he pick the ball up and run into the endzone without falling on his face? Will it happen for the Skull Takers? will they win the match or will they fail? It’s too unbearable to watch!!

Of course he can.

Another last second touchdown, another amazing play goes perfectly and the Skull Takers win the match and win the league and win the Clean cup. And the players who had been working so hard to win this game could not contain the level of tension for any longer and decided to riot.

Uh oh

This only meant more fighting and more arguing but as it was extra time the Ref called it a day and went to relax with a nice pot of Mushroom tea leaving the coaches to sort it out themselves.

More fans, more money, more prestige for the Skull takers as they win 2-1

Suprisingly, in a match full of suprise new players and suprise last second touchdowns it’s not suprising that the commentators actually pick a worthy player as MVP. Ty-Nogors who pulled off the saving tackle in the very last turn of the second half is awarded MVP earning himself extra skill points and more ‘Homemade fan soup’ back in the locker room.

Ty-Nogors, well deserved MVP award.

And so the Skull Takers, take the Clean cup home to the chaos wastes where it will no doubt get used to hold blood for some form of sacrificial duty.

The actual Clean cup was not present right away, it was um...filled with blood and then used in a blood sacrifice so here is a screenshot of what it says when you win instead.

At the end of each season you are presented with a list of awards for players and teams who did the best at a specific thing within in the game. Here are the awards that the SKull Takers won throughout the Clean cup tournament.

Basically the Takers were the most violent.

Now coach TooNu’s only job is getting the Skull Takers to their next tournament, the Aerial cup, where the teams are much tougher and much hungrier to win. With the promise of bigger, tougher opponents the Skull Takers are ready to go to war!…err go to the game and play I mean.



0 Responses to “Blood Bowl – Clean Cup Final.”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

October 2010
« Sep   Nov »

%d bloggers like this: