04
Oct
10

Blood Bowl – The playoffs.

The semi-finals for the Clean cup were about to begin. The Flashing Fen’s Vs The Bright Crusaders in one match, The Skull Takers Vs Da Severed ‘Eads in the other. The stakes were incredibly high as the winner of each match would move onto the final and potentially more serious championships away from the farmer fields and ditchs the previous games were held in. Not that playing in farmland was all that bad, plenty of stupid farmers around for blood sacrifices.

The beastman wins because he is taller.

Right away it was clear that the gods were smiling down…evil smiles but smiles none the less. Coach TooNu had found favor with them and they rewarded his team greatly. An overly high kick provided an early opportunity in the game and luck would be with them for the first few turns. First, some fighting.

Less could be said for this Beastman who decided he didn’t like his face anyway as an Orc rearranged it in the very first turn sending him off for the rest of the game.

First turn injuries, the great predictor of how the rest of the match will play out.

The Takers were allready a man down and allready feeling the pressure from the the newly aggressive Orc team who would not lose like the last time. Orc blockers and lineman were quick to keep the fights brewing and constantly gave the front defensive line things to think about…while lying flat on their backs.

Cloud picture spotting is a common hobby amongst those in this position, unless unconcious.

The ‘Eads seemed to be controlling the pitch and the ball, but until this point were not doing anything about scoring or actually winning. I think their coach had some words that went along the lines of “revenge” and “retribution” though being an Orc he would have put it something more like,“Smack em goat gits in da face!!”. Their only attempt at moving into the Takers back half was met with such enthusiastic violence it was quite a shock to see. A hapless Goblin thought he could sneak through and get into a good catching position, he didn’t quite make it however.

The 'Goblin sneak' play turns into a typical 'Goblin go to the injury box' play.

Meanwhile and away from the fighting, the rear Beastman caught the ball from the initial high kick and ran with it up field for an incredibly easy Touchdown. The Orcs were not even paying attention due to the ass kicking they were dishing out and getting back. Orcs truly do enjoy the fight over the game. 1-0 Skull Takers.

An afternoons stroll for one Beastman who decides to take the ball up field instead of doing some hurt along the way. Better to score and win, than not score and be the one to get eaten after the game.

With the first half taken up by fighting, fighting and more fighting; and with no more touchdowns, the Cheerleaders led the break with another display of awesome dancing and acrobatics while waving heads around the air.

Chaos fans typically don't sit for 15 minutes eating hotdogs, they perform rituals and admire cheerleaders swinging other peoples body parts around the air.

The second half whistle was blown and then this happened…again..

Take me to the magic of the moment On a glory night Where the children of tomorrow dream away In the wind of change!! - Scorpions

Well the last time this happened, the Bright Crusaders more or less walked a touchdown in giving them a 1-1 draw. Coach TooNu wasn’t about to let this happen twice in one season and so made preperations of 4 chickens and 1 drugged comatose fan as blood sacrifices. To his credit, it worked. First the fighting broke out, massive brawls started happening in centre field that made the war on the right side look tame but the left side’s blanket of blood more than over shadowed the toher two. Nobody was watching or waiting, everyone was getting stuck in. Both teams were out for blood, but the Skull Takers were that much more savage.

Now that is a block you want! The orc would never recover from such a beating and was taken off the field on 3 stretchers.

Seeing his team mate being completly owned by the Beastman, this Orc Lineman charged head first into anything in his way, using the blitz movement for this turn. By the looks of things, his failure to do anything usefull displeased his larger teammate who hurled abuse at the comatose lineman from centre field.

"YA MISERABLE STOOPID GIT!!"

To show the greenskins how it should be done, Yelfagor put an Orc Lineman down relatively easily by using his new and superior block ability.

Block: Players with the Block skill ignore the Both Down rule and instead remain standing, the opponent, unless he to has Block, will fall flat on his face into the turf.

The fighting was stretched across the entire of the pitch but eventually something had to be done about securing the win. If the wind had indeed changed, the Skull Takers luck might also change and so this beastman finished off smashing his opponent around the face, picked up the ball and headed up field with it.

He turns around almost half way into the opposite half and decides if he should get back into the fight or continue running. Thankfully coach TooNu was on his case to provide motivation, "GET UP THAT F**KING FIELD WITH THAT F**KING BALL AND SCORE A F**KING TOUCHDOWN OR YOU LOSE YOUR F**KING BEARD!!!"

The touchdown celebrations are just a little weird...that's chaotic goat-men for you.

With nothing left to do for the last 3 turns, the Skull Takers held the line and made sure no Orc was leaving the field without at least a bloodied face. 3 turns of constant fighting later and the match was over, 2-0 Skull Takers and their largest margin of victory yet.

An increased fan factor, and over all not a bad match.

As always the commentators choose a complete random player as MVP, this time the injured Beastman wins the award for being the most hilarious waste of cash spent on a player ever.

So...really, who names these guys?

As it is the semi finals there was one other match playing and the results were as follows…it looked like one hell of a game.

Look, 2 dead for the Flashing Fens. I assume the Crusaders "polite" way of playing went out of the window.

The Flashing Fens make it to the final beating the Bright Crusaders by 3 touchdowns for a total of 7 touchdowns for the match which is quite high. Perhaps the Fens can actually live up to their heritage when called for, we shall have to see.

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3 Responses to “Blood Bowl – The playoffs.”


  1. 05/10/2010 at 2:00 pm

    Damnit I want to play Bloodbowl now.

    • 2 TooNuRaccoon
      05/10/2010 at 5:09 pm

      You should! 🙂
      I’m having a great time, no P.I. bugs, no moving UI windows, no POS fuel. It’s been a great break so far. Oh and Legendary Edition comes out shortly, keep an eye out 😉

  2. 08/10/2010 at 12:26 pm

    Took my old team thrugh a couple of tournaments, won every game, caused slaughter.

    I think I have 3-4 “Super Star” players now, it’s a little ridiculous when the opposing team gets over 1mil gold to spend on extras.

    Still, at least I get to hurt star players.


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