22
Aug
10

EvE – Generic blog post.

Here we have an introduction where you are fed morsels of ideas or told a story that has something of relevance to the actual subject in some form or another. The relevance is not meant to be all that obvious otherwise the analogy and humour of it would just be uninteresting or worse, unhumourous. It could involve food or it could involve childhood but all it really does other than entertain, albeit slightly, is to ease you into a state where you can be directed by the writer. It helps to clarify the entire blog post by guiding your mind onto a path where it should hopefully stay until you are finished reading the entire post where hopefully it comes together in some witty last remark. Cue first screenshot.

The subject of the post doing something where it looks interesting.

Now the post will start to lay down the actual thought process that led to this blog post in the first place. The screenshot above helps to illustrate what the write is actually talking about so that those who are perhaps not so aware of such things can see what the writer is talking about. Screenshots also serve to break up the monotomy of words after words of text or “a wall of text”. If the reader is engaged then the reader will perhaps finish reading the entire blog post and then maybe come back and read more blog posts in the future. (At this point something derogatory is said about the writer by himself in parentheses like a small voice in his head to indicate that perhaps the previous paragrah was not entirely accurate or was obvious in some way where it needn’t have been said in the first place. You dull twit.)

A further point is written to back the first point up and if the writer feels quite fucking strongly about this, he uses lot’s of fucking fuck variations or other swearing. This second paragraph further establishes the anchor of the post so that the reader who at this point should understand the blog post and where it might be going. A sort of trailing off occurs at this point to prevent the reader from knowing where the point of the post is going to, the writer thinks this is clever and rather enjoys the going off message slightly…these dots are a clear indicator that the writer has rethought this and decides to get back on track quickly before the reader is lost and looses interest and so a second screenshot is thrown at their face to help recover the readers attention.

A screenshot to bring the reader back and to highlight the subject of the post. Here, something funny is written like "oh die in a clown suit".

A reference to the above screenshot is the first thing to be highlighted as the point is the real focus of the post. In this case something about pretty lights on a Chimera carrier. A short sentence like the previous one is an easy way to make a quick important point or a fast humourous moment that may or may not be followed by (further insults in parentheses because you are an idiot). Everything from now on is generally more light hearted because the bulk of the blog post “load” has been spent and so no real pressure is on to get the point across. If the job hasn’t been done by now then it won’t ever become apparent and the writer has to redo or rethink the idea in the first place.

The ending to the paragraph above is usually reflective in a twatish way as if  immaturity is suddenly beneath him and something thoughtfull is refreshing (Which it isn’t).

Short sentence above signals an end to the current blog post and final thoughts are brought together. Often quite jumbled and slightly chaotic but none the less the point is made and several more reflective moments are passed on aswell as a desperate attempt at being funny which may or may not include metaphors. Something else that is often used; though not always, but fairly frequently, are a list or quick, sharp, snappy ideas put together in a pointlessly long, string, or arc of never ending commas. This can often make more thoughts about the above post quite relevant and now the writer has to go through it again changing things or adding ideas that just suddenly came to him. Though as the reader it makes no difference to you how it was made because you think this is the writers way of doing things here and it was thought out in a coherent manner. Infact the blog post is often changed quite alot as the writer reaches this point and several words are repaced with the help of google. Spelling errors are corrected to the best of his ability and dictionaries are pried open to look for other possible words that may make the blog sound a little more intelligent such as “parentheses” over “brackets“. A dry remark and a quick metaphor referencing the first paragraph before a final thought brings the post to an end.

The last screenshot acts as a cheeky wink to the reader from the writer as if to say, "see ya next time" or a thought provoking and mysterious "Or is it???".

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7 Responses to “EvE – Generic blog post.”


  1. 22/08/2010 at 4:39 am

    I am beset with desires to contribute to this exploration of thought and discussion of the ideas presented, however, I am finding that words can simply not convey my positive affirmations of this post. Quality and quantity of language does lead to the conclusions of which have been previously mentioned and discussed in a manner of manners for which discussion did ensure.

    I am further impressed by not only the command of content that lay herein, but rather the command of expansive content that continues to pervade my mind as I continue to read this post again and again.

    I thank you for your post and I am grateful for having contributed a comment to the discussion that precedes my affirmations of your thoughts you have expressed.

    • 2 TooNuRaccoon
      22/08/2010 at 11:01 am

      HAHA dude you always crack me up

  2. 22/08/2010 at 6:09 am

    OMG that was awesome. Did you make that up or did you get it from somewhere else?
    Very clever 🙂

    • 4 TooNuRaccoon
      22/08/2010 at 11:07 am

      Oh this is mine for sure, I wrote it last night whilst going through my screenshot folder and finding very little inspiration. Though this idea has been floating around ever since I saw the generic news report by Charlie Brooker 🙂

  3. 5 Brandon
    22/08/2010 at 1:28 pm

    Speaking of Brooker. I have still not thanked you enough for linking his show to me. And showing off your new toy in such a sneaky manner is awesomeness on a stick with frosting.

    BB

  4. 22/08/2010 at 4:47 pm

    Totally relevant and spot on comment.

    General greeting, Xeross

  5. 01/09/2010 at 7:09 am

    It seems like it has been a month since you posted this so I came back and read it again – very nice work!

    Dont leave us hanging for too long.


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