EvE – Analysis of hate.

"Karma police, arrest this man".

That, is how to write a hate mail in EvE online. If you are looking for something with spite and venom then welcome to TooNu’s blog because he has it in spades right now.

As you can see from the date, it was sent just last night. A fresh hatemail, a newly written golden moment savoured forever in my EvE-Mail folder and now on the internets for everyone in the whole universe to read. Congratulations Rheinheat on this fine accomplishment. Let’s take a closer look at this mail, really get into it to discover the motivations, the feelings and the results.

Firstly the title KARMA. The author believes in a supreme being dishing out consequences based on a persons decisions, good or bad, both have consequences. I blew the crap out of his ship and behaved according to my pirate charter which would naturally suggest he believes that my Karma may be “inbalanced” in favour of negative energy.

First line, “Rot in hell Bro”. Ok so here he is clarifying my point about having accumulated negative energy and as such I bypass every type of result for my pirating ways and go straight to hell. Just go to hell, no stopping for snacks, no waiting in line…hell. end of your soul, you go to hell forever. What is very odd is that “hell” is a place commonly viewed in other religions, not really a Budhist/Hindi type of invention so conflificting religious views here. “Bro” suggests that he firmly believes I am male and that we share a bond, him and I are bonded. A bond of brotherhood forged by sharing molecules and atoms, DNA coding, I have a penis, he (might) have a penis. He is a guy, and I am a guy thus we are brothers, “Bros” to the very end. Perhaps it is not rooted that far, perhaps us being “brosefs” is just because we share an internet together or perhaps even more specific, we share a game called EvE together. Again togetherness, bonding, brothers, all of this smells very Christian to me. I’m swinging in favour of him being a Christian.

“Little shits like you…”. I have to say that this is my favourite line. Clearly he is much bigger than I am, he must be very tall or very rotund to be calling me little. I am by no means tall or muscular and the last word you could describe me would be “fat” so this Rheinheat must be a big guy. I want to take the “shits” part out of context for a moment because, well…from experience, in my family as a small boy growing up, my mother would refer to my brother and I as “little shits” if we were being particularly mischievous. She would often call many kids this infact, kids that lived in the same area that were trouble makers were reffered to as “little shits”. So I am going out on a limb here but, I am guessing he refers to me as a child like person or very immature at the least. Thus he must be an older player, or he thinks he is of the more mature type of player so he is either 35+ or an arrogant 25+. “dwel in video games”, so I have nothing else to do with my life, no life at all infact. All I do is sit in video games like some troll lurking in a damp cave picking fungus off my arse, sleeping in pools of my own dripping nasal fluid. I dwell, I don’t ‘live in video games’ because to live means to have life and remember I have none, I dwell..like a squatter, a mall rat, a troll in a cave.

“in real life you’re just nothing”. I read a very interesting article that was linked on the Sunday Papers article on the RPS website that was suggesting that people should stop seperating their real lives from their gaming lives. Both are the same, it’s your life and what you do in a game and how you interact with people is you being you. Just from the protection of being anonymous behind your monitor. Personally I do not like to say “IRL” anymore due to the fact that, clearly I know I am playing a game and unless the reciever(s) of my text are completly deluded, they do to, so why bother saying it? Poor old Rheinheat is perhaps having trouble seperating the two, or suffers from multiple personality’s or…is just not comfortable playing his games and so he seperates the two completly by having one life as “real” and the other as “just my game face”. I think that is quite sad. Oh and the tail end of that sentence I mean ZOMFG! dude, I’m nothing? I’m less than nothing? oh dear god why? why have you given me such a poor hand? why am I not special?…nothing…well, at least I have my ship and he doesn’t knuck knuck!

“keep up your life”. At last possitivity! though, I can’t see what would be so possitive about being in hell, what with my no life and being nothing and all. Perhaps he WANTS me to continue on this downward trend of negative energy accumulation and this is his way of bidding me. “safe journey on your continued spiral into hell”, a sort of classroom child, “I told you so!!” from him to me to show me that HE WAS RIGHT! I AM AN ASSHOLE!! Well you sure showed me Rheinheat!

“Karma is a bitch”. Here at the end of this glorious mail we see Rheinheat reminding me of the title and that I should rethink my path of piraty goodness. I should turn away from the impulses of shooting at things in a PvP centric game and do some good with my time. The short time I have left before the gates of hell take me in. He is essentially saying that, “Hey just incase you didn’t know that Karma can work both ways here I am telling you that it can indeed work both ways because sometimes it is bad, just as much as it is good”. Or he is just using the old phrase “karma’s a bitch” as some sort of wry signoff, a last wink at the camera, a nudge towards the audience in that one liner Holywood movie hero style. Oh the one liners are good aren’t they Rheinheat? And you chose an absolute stunner to finish your EvE mail, not only does it reiterate the title but it sends a message to all that read it. Good show Rheinheat, good job!

And now we wrap this blog post up but don’t leave and go back to your regular routine. Really take this all in and think long and hard about your actions and what they mean to you and to the others around you. Maybe your actions don’t affect anybody right now, but perhaps down the line, perhaps your children or your childrens children will feel the reprecussions of your neglegent ways. Rheinheat has a valid point to made, I should have not shot at his spaceship in an internet game. I should have let him come back in to the system (Lisbaetanne) to do his business and leave with safe passage. I should have done that, and now curse it, I’m going to hell! and now my life is nothing! Oh woe is me!!


2 Responses to “EvE – Analysis of hate.”

  1. 05/08/2010 at 11:12 pm

    Sounds like you’re hosed. You’d better get out while you can.

  2. 06/08/2010 at 12:36 am

    Although…Karma does happen in EVE you know?
    Next time you get blobbed or ECM’ed or podded, think of this guy imo 😛
    The last hate mail I got was this one:

    Sadly not as elegant as yours, but very straight to the point.
    Please share more hatemails you get, they’re awesome 🙂

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