18
Jul
10

EvE – With a rebel yell she cried YO HO HO!

Pirating is alt-tabbing to see if you are infact docked up. Pirating is enjoying the misfortune of others. Pirating is being a complete fuckface but being either A) nice to pull it off or B) soulless.

This week, that is what I think pirating is. Next week I might change my opinion because pirating is also fickle and volatile. Above all things though, it has been quite fun and interesting. Also savoury due to my current discovery of Tear Juice, the number one drink for low-sec arsehole pirates and high-sec suicide ganker bastards. It seems to awaken the inner smacktalking idiot in even the most anti-social of us all and to demonstrate I will throw in a couple of “obvious troll is obvious” type bullshittery into this post.

mmmmm delicious!

So far I haven’t yet been very skilled or used any tactics or had, by definition, a goodfight. Everything I have shot at has been either probed down and annihilated or directional scanner’ed, found and annihilated but in both of these cases the targets have been people who have no idea about how EvE works or their ships have been silly and the old autopilot has led them astray. I have not engaged anybody I think that might have friends next door, nor have I willingly taken on superior numbers or superior ships. To be honest, I have no care for internet honour in a spaceship game nor have I any care in improving my skill level as an EvE player to serious levels. The time invested is just not worth it and E-honour is FOR FAGS!! (Disclaimer: I am not a bigot but you fucking are!).

There is an Omen there but he got away 😦

Everything has been a huge success, by that I mean, the killing of noobs. Let’s call them noobs shall we, I don’t care if they are or are not but this title refers to them based on the following reasons.

Reason 1: Autopiloting into Lisbaetanne or any low-sec system from a high-sec system is not a bright move. Infact it is the opposite of bright which is dim, which is one characteristic of a noob.

Reason 2: Accepting a mission that is in low-sec without reading the warning that actually says you will be going to low-sec. If you were aware of this and didn’t check your map for the number of ships recently destroyed in said system and accepted anyway makes you a dunce. Go to the corner dunce.

Reason 3: Not checking for Combat scanner probes on your directional while you are missioning, this makes you silly billy, and silly billy is a noob, like your stupid face.

Sometimes pilots do get away from the inevitability of ship death, because they follow the rules of low-sec flying and don’t get caught. These people are wise or experienced or just lucky. To put your skill into perspective though, I am a complete numbskull when it comes to fast directional scanning and 100% of the time if I have a ship on a 30degree scan with more than 1 celestial (planet, gate, asteroid belt, your mom because she is so fat you have to begin your hug and then travel 18AU to finish it!!!)  on the route, I take a guess and hope for the best. That is how crap I am at the directional, so if I catch you…then you should commit Sepuku or wear a clown suit to work tomorrow as punishment. I am getting better and my usual company in Hellfleet, Kruger and Evi are ninja fast so generally they tell me where I should point my ship and get ready. Bless them.

Nothing here 😦 another celestial lottery that I did not win.

On top of everything, I seem to be only using a Hurricane battlecruiser which is slow as the recovery on a burns victim but on the plus side it has great damage potential and a decent tank. It can tank the sentry guns around a station or a gate pretty well…well enough to gank something and gtfo but don’t hang around eh? I’m going to swap my ship choice out just as soon as I figure out what the new ship will be, my supremely fitted Tengu is a bit too expensive to waste on a bait Drake for example. I don’t fly Gallente or the Myrm would be my likely choice…hmm I have to ponder on this one, any suggestions?

So having a blast and being a bit of a dick is quite entertaining. I think it would be pretty pointless after a while, the silly ganking of T1 fit T1 cruisers/frigates being pilotted by unfortunate “new players” or “unaware players” over and over could just infact be a thing for the moment. Thankfully my new alliance mates are entertaining and fun to chat with and play EvE with so hopefully that’s enough to keep me going.

Unrelated news! We had a family BBQ on Friday and these were the napkins we had on the table. I had no choice in the napkin, I had no idea the napkins even existed but the planets aligned, fate intervened and the pirate napkin made it to my BBQ, coincedence or just plain awesome?

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