EvE – Follow the leader.

The art of blob warfare. If you can call it art because yes, blobs happen but so does shit and as you can’t avoid shit in life so you can’t avoid blobs in EvE. Though I have tried.

Being a member of CMAC means that currently we are fighting with the Caldari militia against the Gallente and the Minmatar, mainly the Gallente. So while being deployed to some far flung reaches of space occasionally I like to pop back and have a sniff around old haunts, see if anything is happening and perhaps get the odd fight or two. Tuesday turned into quite an eventfull day as it so happened.

The choice of vessel was the Jaguar. I sincerly love the Jag’ and this day would strengthen that bond even further. After idling around in various low sec areas with no action I headed from our deployed area to back home when typically an enemy turned up to fight. I didn’t think he would engage to be honest but he did and as he was flying a Harpy he thought he stood a fair chance at taking on a Jaguar. I obliged and it was on.

After the fight a guy previously in VETO who happened to be in a chat channel I am in said something like, “that’s a rare thing a 1 on 1, you don’t get them much these days what with everyone having caps or alts”. This is true to an extent but I think we all know what he means really, EvE is a game played by low down cheaters who will use the advantages they have when they can, and if that means calling in your buddies then so be it. This Harpy pilot however wasn’t like that, he was quite happy to fight me mano a mano. I began the fight at 2600m or so and as I wasn’t getting many hits in I closed the gap to 500m or basically I was right on top of him in a very uncomfortable way. I don’t like being within blaster range especially while webbed but I like my EMP ammo doing more damage while I beleived in the integrity of my tank. It paid off and his Harpy was toast, by the time I looted my tank had repaired to over 50% shields and I GTFO to rest in a safe spot.

Here is what you get when you cross a Harpy with a Jaguar Jaguaret Thatcher!. Yea ok so I forgot the screenshots but this is pretty cool.

PRO TIP: (from a non pro). After a fight, if you got that adrenaline rush and your hands are sweaty or shaky or whatever, take a break in a safe spot in system or make one and then go rest in it. Just for a couple of minutes. You need to calm down from that, even if you don’t think you do, you probably should. I’m not entirely sure if it is pysically damaging to have your heart beat like the bass in a Leftfield number but it can’t hurt to just take the edge off a little so you can assess the fight, learn from it, collect your thoughts and plan your next move. Also it helps you to not get carried away by searching for more fights straight away. Go and dock up and drop that loot off (when your aggression counter is done of course). Just like gambling it is best to quit while you are ahead….yea like we are all experts at doing that.

After the fight I ran back to high sec to drop the loot off when I saw in militia that people were X’ing up. This is nothing new for me to see but I NEVER join these fleets. I typically latch onto them if I see them in the same system but Id on’t actively seek to join their ragtag fleets of babbling monkies. I took another gamble and X’ed up in militia chat. I got on EvE voice and to my suprise there was only 1-2 guys talking, it wasn’t a rowdy bunch of bullshitters. It seemed to be actually organised and with a definitive authority figure in the FC. I was figuratively stunned off my face. Apparently an alliance decided to pirate for a bit in low sec and wanted to stomp on some easy prey militia, namely, the Caldari militia. They had one of the major gates camped with a Battleship heavy gang and logisitics etc.

So the gang is almost all here. Just a few more people to show up and we are off to that blurred gate so you can't possible tell where the Caldari militia begins it's fleets... /sarcasm off

The FC was decisive and direct in what he wanted for the fleet, battleships and battlecruisers only. Well here I was in my Jaguar and with no ships for many many jumps I thought I would stick with it as some tackle. Oh right now I should mention that the FC was very clear, he said everything 3 times so it couldn’t be confused, he spoke clear English in my opinion and seemed at least to know wtf he was doing. Occasionaly you spot the ‘regular’ pilots that he flies with often because they like to backseat FC a little, you know the type, the guy that feels he is 2nd in command or in the secret circle. Every EvE organisation has one. Anyway the fleet moved out and a primary was called before anybody was on site (spy alts ftw I guess). Rather than explain about the entire fight I will link the battlereport and say they got murdered oh and I got on 7 KMs oooh. We looted quickly and GTFO to reship and move on to something else.

That something else turned into a 100+ in local plex marathon for a system that was bugged and had it’s plexs spawn all over again so there was 12 or so plexs in the system instead of the standard 3-4. These 12 had the potential to flip it from Caldari ownership to Gallente. We didn’t want that and so we reshipped to smaller craft (well I didn’t of course) and proceeded to one of my favourite systems, Heydieles, to stop it from being flipped back to the Gal’s.

This is us, running away fast, very fast infact. So fast that to take this picture I had to slow down time.

Again I won’t go into battle details, because besides from the odd Condor loss on our side there was no actual fighting. The Gallente took vastly superior ships and more of them than we had so we retreated after taking a few plexs to at least stall the effort. We ran very very fast to the home system in Nourv’. A few slower ships got caught and anhiliated but what can you do? aparently these people are “retarded” according to the brainiacs in the fleet. These retarded people would argue they had gate traffic or their cruiser was tackled by an inty and so the brainiacs would scoff and again lable these people “retarded”. Seriously is it any wonder the rest of EvE regard these brainiacs as scrubs? Besides this idiot fest on comms the FC decided that now the fleet pissed him off and didn’t want to FC again because a more than half decided to gank a Thorax WT on a gate which stopped them from jumping out as the Gallente fleet arrived. The Gallente promptly murdered these trigger happy people and thus the FC was angry.

Ahh good times, do you remember this guys? when I was all like, "Hey guys this is me flying through the fleet like Wedge Antilles in Return of the Jedi back when Star Wars had some integrity before your man George fucked it up with a Jar Jar and some bullshit about broken hearts killing Padme" and you guys were all like, "oh aye so it is just like that TooNu, I'm well impressed!". Ahh good times.

The joys of wiping out that bigger fleet earlier were forgotten. The FC wasn’t happy anymore and people who could have avoided the loss of their ship simply gave the Gallente easy kills. Silly people. Retarded? no, silly? yes.

From my renewed experience with the militia guys I can safely give my opinion in that, the FC knew what to do and the militia knew how to act in his fleet. Everything was a pleasant suprise but when things got bad, the comms became exactly what I remember them to be. A clown fest. It is understandable really but not excusable, the behaviour is typical in all MMO’s when you play a game with people you don’t really give a shit about, and you don’t really rely on seeing ever again. So why be civil? or pleasant? when being cliche internet-angry is so much easier. If given the opportunity to fly with them again, I think I would because I know none of the bullshit was thrown my way but I do have some form of a heart and it goes out to the guys who just didn’t know the rules, or just don’t get how to play EvE but came anyway. Kudos to the fun seekers!!! πŸ™‚

Perhaps the “retarded” comments put them off the whole experience slightly, I don’t know. Sad but like I have said countless times, EvE is a game for scumbag cheater backstabbers and that is what you get.


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