EvE – Jaguar, the Brian Johnson of EvE.

I love that metaphor, it’s now on my go to list for metaphors even if it makes no sense. Brian Johnson is the singer for AC/DC, he joined them in March 1980 which is exactly 1 year before I was born yet despite how much I really REALLY like AC/DC like all self respecting rock/metal music lovers, if you were to ask me before today “what do you think of Brian Johnsons singing style?”, the first honest reaction from me would have been “who the shite is Brian Johnson?”.


I don’t mean any disrespect to him but I have been listening to AC/DC since I was 12 or something, I have seen them live once and in all these years I never once thought to find out his name and memorize it. I know Angus and Malcolm are the guitarists. I know evey band members name for Aerosmith and Iron Maiden, I can tell you the name of Metallicas first Bass player, The drummer for Pearl Jam is Matt Cameron and even fucking Bon Jovis keyboard player is David Bryan BUT I couldn’t tell you the name of AC/DCs singer despite the fact how utterly awesome and awesomely successfull they are.

Why is this relevant to EvE? well the Jaguar is an assault ship that suffers from a similar condition. It is known as a good ship but it at least to my knowledge it doesn’t get the realized as a truly awesome ship. It seems to stay out of the limelight much like Brian. It is a ship kept in the garage until shit goes down and it is needed out to do the job correctly. Everybody knows about the Hawk for example, but for all the wrong reasons. Mainly because it sucks so much of bile and cat piss. The Harpy gets great reviews as a solo wtfpwn mobile and the Ishkur even more so. I get the feeling that the Jaguar doesn’t stand out in anyway and so gets over looked. This is what a Jaguar looks like by the way.

Look guys, it's a Jaguar.

It badly needs a scandal or something to get peoples attention so they at least talk more about it. An example here to help illustrate my point, from Battleclinic.

A bit small but this is the first 3 pages of assault ships from Battleclinic. A bigger version is in the link below.


Count this for yourself (if you can read from that screenshot) and see the total numbers of discussion per ship on the first 3 pages of Battleclinic for assault frigates. Here are the totals for number of posts per ship from the most popular to the least popular. for those that prefer not to do math while reading some guys blog. Ishkur – 214. Wolf – 202. Enyo – 114. Harpy- 99. Vengeance – 53. Jaguar – 50. Hawk – 39. Retribution – 38.

How the fuck is it 6th most popular?? It beats the Hawk and Retribution sure but they are mince!!! everybody hates the fucking Hawk, it’s shite but NOBODY is interested in the Jag?? ok so 50 people are interested enough to give it some coverage. If you check the number of fittings posted on these 3 first pages you can see that the Ishkur has 6, the Wolf has 5, the Enyo has 5, the Harpy has 4, the Vengeance has 3, the Jaguar has 3, the Retribution has 2, the Hawk has 2.

Jaguar, not just an classic of British motoring.

I think it is seen as middle of the road, average, nothing special, not exciting, not too great but too bad. It is the Volvo of EvE. You can rely on a Volvo and you can assume the Volvo is going to do its job well enough to earn its place as a valuable assest. The thing about Volvos though, they don’t exactly WOW! anybody. Why doesn’t the Jaguar WOW! anybody?

You can fit it exactly like a Rifter but as a SUPER rifter, it even has an extra mid-slot over the Rifter, it has more PG and CPU allowing you even more freedom with your fittings. Yes a Jaguar hull costs 80 times more than a Rifter but you get so much more out of it. If you can afford to fly T2 ships and feel the need for an upgrade and yet you still love the rifter, why not go to the Jaguar? it seems like a natural progression to me.

You don’t have to fit it like a Rifter, you can do the super hard as nails passive shield tank Jaguar and sit safely never dieing. You can take on multiple frigates/cruisers at once and not have to worry about ship destruction. Obviously there are exceptions BUT the point is the possibility is there. Here are 3 fittings for the Jaguar that I have used and enjoyed using. The passive shield tank and the super rifter shield/armor tank. Adjust to your own will.

3 fittings for a great ship.

I prefer the passive shield recharge fitting over the super rifter variants as it really is hard as nails and quite suprising for a small frigate hull. Almost like a Drake but faster, smaller and definetly not jaded by PvE. My own defining moment in this ship was taking on a Rifter, Vexor and a Moa at the same time and coming out alive but only because the passive recharge is so awesome. At that moment I knew it was a ship I could not do without.

So Steven Tyler might be the Ishtar, Bruce Dickenson might be the Harpy and Eddie Vedder might be the Wolf but Brian Johnson is the Jaguar and Brian Johnson is the most successful.

Poor Jaguar, kept hidden away in the garage. Nobody wants to fly it, not now, not ever. Sad 😦


3 Responses to “EvE – Jaguar, the Brian Johnson of EvE.”

  1. 15/04/2010 at 8:13 am

    Cool site mate, got bumped over here from the eve-o forums. There are so many ships that get looked over – just count the Jag lucky it is not a Caldari boat!

    Added you to my RSS roll so keep the posts coming.

  2. 2 WugUgg
    06/11/2011 at 9:14 am

    I deliberatley trained for the Jag just havent bought it yet. Training with the Rifter :)OMFG(:

  3. 3 kuri
    11/02/2013 at 4:26 am

    I can honestly say i agree m8 my first assualt ship ever was a jag,and i dont regret it,people fail to see it as much a threat when its on scan so fights are easy to find,it hauls ass and mounts a significant tank for a frig i love mine so much so that ts faction fitted just to crank out that omgwtf speed. For a slightly sharper edge 😉

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