02
Apr
10

EvE – Speaking of biomass.

About 1.5 years ago my collecting-everything obsession turned quite sinister. I wasn’t merely content with pirate logs, pirate tags, miscellanious mission junk, exotic dancers and implants. No, I turned into one of those people you read about in shitty womens magazines or see on Americas most funniest deviants. Lot’s of people do it I swear, I’m not the only one that does this, honestly I don’t touch them!!

Corpses, cadavers, Biomass, frozen meat popsicles, the dead, bodies. Many names, many different people all sharing one similar attribute. The inability to leave a fight after losing a ship. Granted that sometimes it is not your fault due to lag or bubbles but other times and especially in high sec, losing your pod is a bit silly. And this gives people like me an excuse to pick up your frozen corpse.

Why did it start? well while living in low sec as part of the 22nd I noticed a few people who I would see more often than not and would then retrieve their corpse as a trophy of sorts. Either my gang podding them or my friends being podded, it didn’t matter. If I knew the person I would scoop the corpse into my cargohold. After a few times of doing this my corp’ mates got wind and just started giving me corpses they would find. This meant sometimes 1 or 2 corpses, othertimes it meant 10-15 corpses at a time so the collection just started to expand with any old corpse along the way. Pretty soon it becamea habit to fly out from a gate risking my ship to scoop a corpse lying 20-30km away and beleive me, I have lost 2 Manticores to this collecting.

I used to joke that my character was just “saving them” letting the implications of what I might be doing to them fester in my corp’ mates minds. Is he eating them? is he molesting them? is he decorating his ships and accommodation with them? These would be staple comments made over Ventrilo leaving pause for an answer that never came. Eventually however after some months of accepting contracts for large death deposits and trading over bags of cadavers the question was raised in a serious tone on more than one occasion. “Dude, what ARE you doing with these corpses?”, and rather than just responding with say, “I LICK THEM BECASE FROZEN MEAT IS TEH AWSuM!!1” I gave it a little more thought and replied…

“Maybe in a future patch there will be a skill we can learn that has a 2% chance per level of recovering an implant from the corpse or perhaps just gaining a random implant”.

And there I had it, an excuse that removes any perverse implications anybody might have had about my reasons. So you see I was infact “saving them”, saving them for a time when I can profit wildly from my 500+ corpses stashed in a special freezing unit in my high sec station.

Old corp’ mates are still contracting corpses over to me every now and again. If they pick up a corpse and they think about me, I tend to recieve it when they next dock up. They all know I don’t pay for them and it is merely a donation based hobby, paying for a corpse seems a bit silly to my sense of ISK growth. Travel through certain areas of low sec or 0.0 and they are just lying out there pretty much 24 hours a day. Corpses are not rare, they are not valuable and they currently serve no purpose other than a reminder that a pilot was careless here and so this is his/her body.

Here is a screenshot I took 1 year ago of something I started to do but had to scrap entirely because everytime I opened the container my game would lag so damn hard and just freeze for like 5 minutes. A friend of mine convinced me it was not healthy for my game and probably not great for the node so it might be best just to keep them stacked up in 1 container instead. ALSO I had a note which listed every single corpse by name in some bizarre death-list…I scraped that because it really is not healthy and quite pathetic, I am glad I am able to speak sense to myself on occasion…what? no I don’t speak to myself.

Each small container used to house a pilots corpse(s)

Here is the same screenshot but larger so you can scroll through and read the names, perhaps you know some of these people.

http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/9383/catacombslarge.jpg

Currently I have well over 500+ corpses but the exact number is not known because I have lost count. If such a skill as the one I mention above is EVER implemented anybody that has donated to my collection gets a cut of the profits, you and I both know who you all are.

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