13
Aug
11

EvE – EvE numbers and stats for this blog.

After unsubbing 3 accounts due to Incarna, working like an Egyptian slave all Summer, having re-found the awesome that is my DS, reading more books than usual and waiting out Deus Ex Human Revolution, it occured to me that I have/had a blog. A blog that people still read and visit and link to because I just went past 25k hits which is cool and unusual. So this upcoming post makes perfect sense to me, in that I want to allow myself a last moment of EvE related arrogance.

Some years ago Wensley, a very popular EvE blogger wrote about his site stats and various things involving his site and searches. It’s the only post he’s made that has stuck in my head, for reasons my perverse mind can only explain, so I want to do something similar for this blog whichisnotaspopularasmostbutthat’sok.

The 5 most popular posts are as follows (most popular no.1)

1) Suicide ganking, wtf is it? - some dude on some popular blog linked directly to this post, and apparently there are more than just a few willing suicide bombers within EvE, or perhaps, people trying to avoid it!

2) Rifter, the unglamorous awesomeness. Everybody want’s to know about Rifters. more experienced players looking for new takes, or new players looking for more information. A Rifter post is a good idea!

3) Wormholes, the mundane money making. Making money in EvE is HUGLEY Googled. Wormholes are full of ISK if you are organised and have some friends :)

4) Rapier the almost but not quite favourite. I think that the Rapier gets seen as the “cool” higher class of ship. I know I see it as such. It is indeed a great ship.

5) Jaguar, the Brian Johnson of EVE Which is great because I think I had lot’s of fun writing this post about the best assault frigate in the game ™.

Writing about suicide ganking was obvious to me because of the people I was playing EvE with at the time, Hellfleet, went out and did this every couple of weeks for an hour or two. It’s like overfishing, you can’t keep fishing in the same spot less you run out of fish right? Well eventually the Hulks and various mining barges come back after a week+some days and we got to do it all over again. So a small guide on how to do it was important not only for those that want to know about the term, the mechanic, but also how to avoid being suicide ganked and what to expect if that should happen to you. It’s best to know how you are going to get fucked than not know, I guess. Oh and my own alt* has been suicide ganked in her Hulk so despite knowing how it’s done, you can’t avoid it :)

Suicide ganking is awesome and you can make so much ISK from ruining other peoples lives it’s quite silly. I think the “profession” would die off if people would stop flying 3-4 billion ISK in 1 ship making them tasty targets. Or perhaps this is something we just can’t fight against. Oh and I hear that Tempests are the best for this activity :)

Tengu 1, Golem 1, Golem 2, Golem 3.

Oh and if you want to find more of my posts in an easy manner, look at the top of this page and I have 3 links called EvE I March – May 2010 and EvE II June ’10 – September ’10  and EvE III May’11 – June-’11.

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Search engines send people here when they type specific words like “assbleed” and “fuckface”. So by this rule we can determine what ships are the most popular for search engines that then get reffered to this blog.

Rifter –  The third popular ship on this blog and waht a ship! More lines of search text were used on finding out information about the RIfter and various setups, the “best” setups, PVE and PVP setups, famous set ups, why use a rifter?, new player Rifters, Is the Rifter the best starting ship? etc I could go on with the lengthy list of RIfter threads and wonderings but it would take longer than I have allready spent on this forum post by just counting search engine results. I’m spending my day off for this I swear to you all.

Jaguar –  The second most popular ship on this blog! which is possibly my only significant contribution to the game of EvE. Unless you count my significant charity work…ok I meant piracy.

Rapier –  With more threads of Google text dedicated to it than the other ships. I loved the Rapier, it was my go to ship when I was unsure what to undock, it’s fast, it has a cloak, it can warp with it on and it likes to stay the fuck away from the pain. Great ship.

So all 3 ships are Minmatar and the most popular Capital ship on this blog is also Minmatar, the Hel while the most popular battleship was…The Rohk which was quite suprising but there you go. Minmatar ships ARE the best ships afterall ifyousayotherwiseyouareveryverywrong.

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Over the last year I have saved some of these search entries here because they are quite funny. Some of these pretty odd searches from the huge list that I had to trawl through, are listed below in bold with a comment from me in (parentheses).

EvE online Drink piss. (I honestly don’t understand how this can lead them here, 6 people used this exact sentence)

eve online best pvp ship sneaky pisses people off (A player after my own heart it seems with a line like that)

eve online in lands of dreamers, my brothers (Oh hark mine lucky fellows, a poet in our midst!)

jabba hello kitty (If we get decals and custom paint jobs, I want to see this done pelase..hell I want to see this done anyway)

thorax in eve looks like a big dick (If a man see’s a butterfly on a piece of ink blotted paper, and another see’s a demon…maybe you have penis on the brain hmm?)

ladar 99.99 scan (Mate I feel your pain)

eve online jettison porn (Jettison porn..as in, can porn? I jettison some stuff from my cargohold and you get off on that?)

eve what can you do in a rifter (Fucking anything mate, if you can dream the Rifter will produce!)

badass lego guns: building instructions for five working guns (This is the best example of PSYCHOTIC I could find. Real LEGO guns? wtf?!)

фит ягуара в еве (Is this Russian? what does it mean? Do I want to know)

monkey throwing poop (honestly, this has 9 redirects…what THE hell??)

eve would you put a microwarp drive one a carrier (Whoever you are, if you still care, the short answer to this is : NO)

eve what does gank mean (It’s when you are outnumbered or caught off gaurd and destroyed by a superior ship or superior numbers and you had no chance what so ever, sorry for your loss)

fuck your hybrid decals (Amen brother!…no I have no idea what he is on about)

caldari porno (Does this exist? And if it does, 4Chan is somehow involved)

“local chat” eve online fuck eula (is somebody trying to get around local chat hmm? don’t get banned now)

“out my arsehole” (wtf this is doing on the list)

naken toonu (‘Naken’ means naked in Swedish. This will never happen for your eyes.)

Incidently AC/DC Brian Johnson gets 8 re-directs here :)

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The busiest day was September the 10th 2010, if you were here on that day thanks very much :) my blog wouldn’t load for some time and I have no idea what I did differently. I just remember this blog got hit like some bukkake queen on her world record attempt. Some members of Rooks and Kings linked to a post I made and then these people all came here at the same time to have a look. Things loaded very slowly that day. Thanks though for that :)

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LASTLY I want to link 2 of my own posts that I like very much, just for that reason alone.

Inevitable Things – Future expansions to EvE and what they will contain.

Welsley Snipes character from Demolition man has the same last name as the central figure in this blog post – A story about how an Orca saved the day.

Anyway, I was interested in doing this post and maybe one or two of you were also interested, either way it’s done now and thus concludes the EvE online experience with this 140th post. My stuff…it’s on my accounts that are unsubbed, so no way of getting it to anybody.

*since sold for so many billions.


2 Responses to “EvE – EvE numbers and stats for this blog.”


  1. 1 Tony G
    02/03/2012 at 9:24 pm

    ToooooooNuuuuuuu!

    “фит ягуара в еве” cyrillic converts phonetically to the latin alphabet as :

    “feet yagooara vee eve”

    Thats my good deed for the day. :)

    T.

    • 2 TooNu
      03/03/2012 at 10:30 am

      Have you been drinking the red wine again? :)
      We both know how that makes you a bit silly. Silly person.


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